My Kids Can Hear Fine

I will stand at the top of the stairs and scream to my children that dinner is ready, a half-dozen times. Each eliciting zero response. They are either engrossed in a movie, or playing “the silent game” championships, or have only been a figment of my imagination for the last six years.

My foundation-splitting war cries reverberate throughout the house, pleading with them to come upstairs and ingest the fuel required to keep them alive—like Aragorn rallying his men, “There may come a day when you all will be self-sufficient enough to feed yourselves, BUT THAT DAY IS NOT TODAY!!!” Yet, I am only met with the decaying echo of my own voice.

So naturally I vault the baby gate and stomp down the stairs for effect.

“Did you guys hear me calling you?”

They hadn’t.


But, try and silently shake a bag of M&Ms into your hand on the other side of the house…

My kids can hear fine.

Super fine.



photo credit: DaveOnFlickr via photopin cc


  1. Eleanor said:

    Truer words have never been spoken…

    December 23
  2. Kathy said:

    Laughing out loud. Literally. I scared the dog.

    December 23
  3. Jessica said:

    So true! You are definitely not alone! Bella will ignore, ignore, ignore but try to open an altoid tin or piece of chocolate silently and she comes running!! They are all little stinkers!! Haha

    December 24

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